Chapter 1:
Jarek And The Condom
(by heidiho, added on March 9, 2007)
Jarek-Where Is It? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr......... Kano-What Is It Jarek? Jarek-My Condom Kano-Why Do You Need It Jarek? Jarek-Some Dude With Hookswords And In A Mask Said In Order To Unravel The Secrets Of The Spongebobicus People I Need This Condom Kabal-I Never Said That Jarek You Stupid Idiot Kano-Remind Me Why Your My Student? Jarek-Uh........................219,102 Kabal->_> Kano-Aiyiyiyi Kobra Grabbed Kano As If He Was A Wrestler Kano-Ah Get Your Hands Offa Mah Neck Kobra-Nahah Kano Got Loose And Gave Kobra The Stonecold Stunner All Of A Sudden J.R. And The King Appeared Out Of Nowhere J.R.-OMG Kano Gave Kobra The Stonecold Stunner That's Copyright Infringement Kano-Infringement Schinfringement Jerry ''The King'' Lawler-I'am Here To Ogle At Kira's Puppies Kira-O_O Jarek-They Ain't Pomeranians For Sure! Kira-OMFG I Feel Violated Kira Ran Away Screaming Gibberish And Flaling Her Arms Wildly Jerry The King Lawler-That Was Random J.R.-Yeah She Did That Because Of Ya You Frickin Pervert Kabal-Your A Virgin Aren't You? Jerry Lawler-Uh-Huh Kabal-:o Jarek-O_O Kano->_> Kira Sarcastically-You Poor Thing You!
Chapter 2:
Don't put your finger in the socket
(by HurricaneLeo, added on September 4, 2008)
Daegon to some random guy on the phone-Yes i know we need to bring this pizza to the Al dente brothers
Hsu Hao-Remind me why we're bringing this pizza to the Al dente brothers?
Daegon-Because we decided to segue into the pizza buisness now let's go where the hell is mavado?
Hsu Hao-Have you looked in his room
Daegon-No
Daegon went into Mavado's room what he saw didn't surpise him Mavado's skin was blackened and his har was all puffy like einstein's
Mavado-Hi boss
Daegon-Mavado it looks like you had a fight with that socket and from the looks of iot the socket won
Mavado-Yeah i tried to put my finger in there for the fun of it but it didn't work out anyways i heard we need ot deliver that pizza to the al dente brothers
Hsu Hao-Master Mavado why did you put your finger into the electric outlet?
Mavado stared at his henchman blankly
Mavado-Uh Errrr Oh That quesation is above my paygrade
Daegon snorted and then went towards the al dente brothers house which was coincidently right in front of their hideout
Daegon-I'am looking for the Al dente brothers
Darius-Hey-a Mah name is Darius Al dente and this is my twin Kabal al-dente
Kabal-Hello Mavado we meet-a again
Mavado-Who are you?
Kabal-I'am-a the leader of ther black dragon clan the enemy of your red dragon clan
Mavado-I thought i killed you but then i realized Havik the cleric of pants revived you
Darius-You two are enemies aren't you?
Mavado-Yes anyways here is your pizza
Kabal-.............Thanks-a i think
Darius-Yummy
Kabal than closed the door and went into the kitchen
Mavado-That was eventful Right boss?
Daegon-Yep
Hsu Hao emotionlessly-Yeah sure now let's get back to plotting the black dragon clan's demise
Kabal than slammed open the door
Kabal Angrily-What the Faack did you just say-a
Hsu Hao-Let's plan your demise in a figurative sense
Kabal-What?
Hsu Hao-the demise of your fame fortune
Kabal Angrily- Faaack you bitch
Kabal then plugged his respirator into Hsu Hao's Head
Kabal-Looks like-a your ego went straight to your head
Mavado-A_A
Daegon-ROFL
Chapter 3:
F*cked Up Armageddon Konquest Joke
(by TavenIsDaBomb, added on July 9, 2009)
The girl Hannah is one of my kreated kharacters. The other girl Donna is a kharacter kreated by a girl who calls herself Psycho_Dominatrix on a website called Fanart Central.
Once upon a stinkin' time Hannah was on her way to Shao Kahn's dungeon to rescue her fellow Red Dragon buddy Donna when she ran into a young boy with blue glowing eyes and sported an outfit that looked exactly like Raiden's MKDA suit.
Boy:Stop right there!
Hannah:Who are you?
Boy:M'name's Kidd Thunder, and I'm 'fraid I cain't letcha pass.
Hannah:Why?
Kidd Thunder:Because I wanna tell you how beauuuuuuutiful you are.
Hannah:Ohh! Well thank you! You're pretty good-lookin' yourself! But I don't have any time to babble. I have to rescue one of my friends.
Kidd Thunder:Okay. Check ya later, then?
Hannah:Sure!
Hannah floats psychically away as Kidd Thunder blushes and sighs dreamily.
Kidd Thunder:She's soooooo cute.
Hannah:*Sigh* He's soooooo cute.
Hannah finally made it to the jail room and found Donna in the first cell to her right in a fetal position saying "I want my mommy" over and over and over again.
Hannah:Donna! Are you alright?
Donna:NO!!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE BEFORE I SNAAAAAAAAP!
Hannah:Okay!
Hannah then witness other jail cells with desperate prisoners inside.
Prisoner 1:Hey! Little girl! Get me outta here and I'll give you this Snickers!
Prisoner 2:Yeah! Get me out, too!
Prisoner 3:I'm telling you, you don't know what it's like in here!
Prisoner 4:Free me! NOW!
Prisoner 5:I like cheeeeeese!
Hannah/Donna/Prisoners:0_0
Prisoner 5:What? I do.
Hannah:Ooookay.
Hannah then finds a GroundPound marker on the ground.
Hannah:I don't know about you guys, but this GroundPound marker is just screaming for me to hit it. HYAAAAAAHHH!
Hannah pounds the marker with her back. It doesn't work.
Hannah:Ouch!
She pounds again. And again. And again. And again. And again. It still doesn't friggin' work.
Hannah:(Sobbing)Ow-how-how-how-how-howww...
Prisoner 2:Free us, you moron!
Hannah:I'M TRYING FOR GODS SAKE!
Hannah then gets mad as hell and smashes the marker with all her might, finally activating it but also breaking it. The cell doors open and the prisoners wander freely in the hallway and takes a left turn. Bad idea! Donna ran over to Hannah and picked her up and hugged her.
Donna:Thanks, Hannah!
Hannah:Sure! Now how do we get outta this heckhole?
Donna:Maybe this way?
Hannah and Donna take the left turn(BAAAD IDEA!!!) and go into a room to find the prisoners dead on the ground and Taven being chased by the Executioner!
Taven:MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Execution:C'mere, lil' godling so I can DECAPITATE YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hannah:Oh, no! That man is in trouble!
Donna:Let's help him!
Taven:AHHH!
Taven slams into Hannah and lands on top of her.
Hannah:EW! GIT OFFA ME YA BIG PERV!
Taven:Sorry!
Donna:Hey mister axe man!
Executioner:You talkin to me, toots?
Donna:Damn right I'm talkin' to ya! We're gonna kick your boo-tay!
Hannah:Yeah!
Taven is hiding behind little Hannah.
Hannah:Good God man show some backbone!
Taven:He's scary! He chopped my head off 9999 times and this scary music played and I had to fight him all over again!
Executioner:Yeah, baby! You think you're tough enough to beat me, little ladies?
Taven:And watch out for his deadliest move!
Hannah:What's that?
The Executioner begins to spin around like a gay ballerina and swing his axe. Hannah, Donna and Taven dodge the attack.
Taven:That one!
Hannah:Heehee! He spins all funny!
Executioner:Is THIS funny?!
The Executioner jumps up in the air and raises his axe. Just before he slices Hannah in two, Hannah grabs his with her telekenesis and chucks him at a wall so hard he bursts through it and flies away.
Taven:Damn!
Voice:HEY!
The three see Shujinko.
Shujinko:GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
Taven:How do we know you won't try to kill us?
Shujinko:You can trust me! I HATE this place to death! There's no toilet or tub in here! I have to "go" in that vent full of fire! And whenever I do, I have to dodge the big flames that occur after I... do something... if you know what i mean.
Hannah:Eww!
Donna:Too much information!
Taven:Ditto!
Hannah:Well, we'll get you outta here.
Shujinko:THANK YOU SO FRIGGIN MUCH
Donna:Err, you're welcome.
Hannah grabs the key which the Executioner had accidentaly dropped after he chopped Taven's head off for the 2691st time and unlocks the cage Shujinko sits in. he hops out and raises his arms and cheers.
Shujinko:YEAAAAAA!
Donna:PEE-YUUU! You sure are a musty old man!
Shujinko:I SAAAAAID there's no toilet or TUB, didn't I?
Then the Executioner comes back in all bruised up.
Executioner:Jinko-Winko! You're not really leaving, are you?
Shujinko:Oh, Executioner-Wexewutioner, I must! For I am stinky and need to shower.
Executioner:But I love having foot and anal fetishes with you!
Donna:WHAT
Taven:That's utterly repulsive!
Hannah:Now, is that some sort of meal?
Taven:You're only a kid, sweetheart. Wait'll you're older to find out.
Hannah:Okay.
Executioner:Just one more time?
Shunijko:Alright.
Executioner:Yea! Anybody wanna join? The kid maybe?
Hannah:You sick disgusting perv
Hannah throws a psychic energyball at the Executioner and makes his fly again.
Hannah:Oops!
Shujinko:That's okay. I've got an STD anyway.
Donna:EWWWWWW THAT'S GROSS!
Hannah:What's an STD?
Taven:Again, you'll have to get older to find out.
Hannah:Aww! Being nine sucks!
Taven:(Sarcastically)Boo-hoo! Why don't ya just cry me a friggin river of tears?!
Hannah:GRRR!
Hannah does the Stone Cold stunner on Taven and knocks him out.
Donna:DAAAAANG Taven you got knocked the f--
Hannah:HEY!
Donna:Out!
Shujinko:You may go now!
Donna:Gosh you're right come on Hannah!
Hannah and Donna leave while Shujinko gives an unconcious Taven a handjob!!
Shujinko:Aawww yeah!
Chapter 4:
Hannah Montana
(by Tycekidd, added on July 27, 2009)
Kung Lao-Moloch why do you have an hannah montana DVD?
Moloch-I like her alright don't tell drahmina bout this
Kung Lao-Why not?
Moloch-I don't want his heart to break
Drahmin-OMFG YOU LIKE HANNAH MONTANA NO WAY SO DO I
Kung Lao-SO much for his heart breaking
Moloch-Pretty much yeah
Drahmin-So who wants to watch Hannah Montana
Kung Lao-I better leave
Moloch-Please do Kung Lao
Kung Lao than left Shang Tsung's dungeon on the way he punched Shang Tsung for the fun of it
Drahmin than put the hannah montana tape in only to have TV explode
Drahmin-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Moloch-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Shang Tsung-Why don't you two assholes stfu my porn time is being disturbed
MK Nightmares 2.5
Mortal Kombat Nightmares is the premiere source for all that is Mortal Kombat. Coverage of the entire MK series. Welcome to Our World of Mortal Kombat, we are your Nightmares.
